Oh, its been awhile! I've been busy! Baby S is doing very very well. We never did breastfeed... S was tube fed for about four months, the last month being slowly introduced to the bottle. S did well with the bottle. Took awhile to get the hang of it and was not easy but we got through it. Thanks to my exclusive pumping S was able to have only breastmilk for six solid months! The seventh month was a transition to formula and by the eight month my milk dried up and it was all formula. I mourned. I cried. I accepted. Around the fifth or sixth month I worked with rebirthing, trying to get the breastfeeding going. One last effort. We would lay in the bathtub, S on my naked stomach against my breasts. The goal was to become comfortable there instead of S screaming in protest. After many attempts the screaming stopped. S actually put my nipple in the mouth! Only to bite and pull. As painful as a clamp smashing me. Never any sucking, only biting and pulling. I gave up after a few weeks. It just hurt so bad and no sign of sucking. The bottle requires a different type of suck as the nipple and I think that a hard thing to figure out once one only knows one type.
We are ok though... more later.
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